sufyan

This entry was posted in Homework. Bookmark the permalink.

1 Response to sufyan

  1. Mrs Boydon says:

    I love a good “Once upon a time …” story, Sufyan, and yours has got princes and castles and even a mean king. Wonderful! You are obviously very familiar with that genre of writing. You’ve managed to use a few adjectives too like “big, fat” and “hot” which is great.

    Next time, make sure you re-read your writing carefully as it is a little confused, particularly towards the end. I think you maybe tried to squeeze too much story into your 100 words. What do you think?

Comments are closed.