What a great piece of writing – is this the first chapter of a longer story? You’ve used some fabulous vocabulary. Well done. Just watch your punctuation – you maybe needed to break up some of the longer sentences and think about varying your sentence starters. Also, watch the repetition of “fridge” – it makes it sound a bit clunky.
Did you know that Charles Dickens released his books in chapters like this. I wonder if you’ll become as famous as he is?
Well done, that was great. The construction and idea of the story is fantastic, When I done the 100 word challenge, I just wrote anything that came to my head then shortened my story afterwards. I also done chapters with my stories. The task is a lot of and gets you thinking. I wonder what happens in chapter 2?
What a great piece of writing – is this the first chapter of a longer story? You’ve used some fabulous vocabulary. Well done. Just watch your punctuation – you maybe needed to break up some of the longer sentences and think about varying your sentence starters. Also, watch the repetition of “fridge” – it makes it sound a bit clunky.
Did you know that Charles Dickens released his books in chapters like this. I wonder if you’ll become as famous as he is?
I like your story. Do you like to write? I do. I think your story was catchy.
This is only the beginning stay tuned in to see what happens next.
🙂
Well done, that was great. The construction and idea of the story is fantastic, When I done the 100 word challenge, I just wrote anything that came to my head then shortened my story afterwards. I also done chapters with my stories. The task is a lot of and gets you thinking. I wonder what happens in chapter 2?