Brilliant! When you were describing how warm the water was, you could have put it into 1 sentence. Instead of “The water was warm. It was as warm as a volcano.” you could have done “The water was as warm as a volcano”. Other than that, your story is great.
Brilliant! When you were describing how warm the water was, you could have put it into 1 sentence. Instead of “The water was warm. It was as warm as a volcano.” you could have done “The water was as warm as a volcano”. Other than that, your story is great.