umar.s 100 world challenge

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7 Responses to umar.s 100 world challenge

  1. Rachael (Team 100WC) says:

    Great spooky story Umar! You’ve used lots of great adjectives to build the tension up the the big reveal at the end! I wasn’t sure whether there are two characters in the story though, as you start off in the first person; ‘I opened the door..’ and end up in the third; ‘…there before him stood…’ Is this the same character? If so, perhaps you could change the last line to ‘…there before me stood…’ instead. Keep writing!

  2. mahmad77 says:

    Well done Umar! You created lots of suspense and used lots of adjectives.

  3. nbobat21 says:

    COOL!

  4. Anisah says:

    A very nice piece of writing. Be proud.

  5. Maria says:

    Good vocabulary used .WELL DONE!

  6. zpatel87 says:

    Very nice.

  7. zpatel87 says:

    Watch out for your tenses.

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