Great spooky story Umar! You’ve used lots of great adjectives to build the tension up the the big reveal at the end! I wasn’t sure whether there are two characters in the story though, as you start off in the first person; ‘I opened the door..’ and end up in the third; ‘…there before him stood…’ Is this the same character? If so, perhaps you could change the last line to ‘…there before me stood…’ instead. Keep writing!
Great spooky story Umar! You’ve used lots of great adjectives to build the tension up the the big reveal at the end! I wasn’t sure whether there are two characters in the story though, as you start off in the first person; ‘I opened the door..’ and end up in the third; ‘…there before him stood…’ Is this the same character? If so, perhaps you could change the last line to ‘…there before me stood…’ instead. Keep writing!
Well done Umar! You created lots of suspense and used lots of adjectives.
COOL!
A very nice piece of writing. Be proud.
Good vocabulary used .WELL DONE!
Very nice.
Watch out for your tenses.